When I first began to write this speech, I was really at a loss for words because I didn’t know how to begin.  I have always been told when beginning any presentation to get right to the point and immediately express that which you are trying to get across.  But I never thought that I would have to stand before a crowded church and begin to define my cousin’s life.  I had to search back a little to find the words that would clearly and concisely define my cousin – I had to go back to my days in high school where the administrators constantly preached four simple words – four words on how we should live our lives – "A Man For Others."  I wish I could stand before you and attest that after four years of high school and countless years of college (more than I care to admit), that I have modeled my life after this simple motto.  But I can’t.  The truth is I have fallen well short.  Unfortunately, it took the tragic death of my cousin to make me finally understand what those four simple words meant.

Let me see if I can better explain.  My relationship with my cousin has always been give and take.  He gave, and I took.  It probably started at the age of 11 when we really began hanging out and continued for 13 years.  I remember the countless hours of basketball games in the summer nights, the trips to Palm Springs that we used to take with my Tia Lupe, and of course, the true past time of any adolescent male, the ongoing-game which I like to call “who can get the most phone numbers.”  Andre was a brave from a very young age.  He was the only person who I knew who could go up to the hottest girl in the party and expect to get her number.  Needless to say, we’ve had a few laughs at this expense.

But what I really remember are the conversations that Andre and I have had.  He’d call me and tell about how some people were picking on our younger cousin, and I would tell him not to get involved because he’d get in trouble for fighting.  But all Andre saw was that his younger cousin needed protection.  He would tell me about a friend who needed help to break away from a tumultuous relationship and I would tell him not to get involved because it was none of his businesses and he was asking for trouble that he didn’t need.  I advised him to stay clear, but all he saw was a friend who needed strength.  He would call me and tell me that he would pick me up from Westwood when I was stuck out there and had no where to go.  I would tell him that he must be crazy to come out here at 5:00 in the afternoon on a Friday.  But Andre would always venture out into the perils of the 10 west only to encounter and battle the inhumane traffic of the 405, because all he saw was a brother who needed a ride. 

For the longest time, I didn’t understand why Andre did these things.  I didn’t understand why when I messed up, Andre was so willing to take the blame for me.  All I understood were the virtues that society had put forth in front of me – get and education, be successful, stay out of trouble.  I began to feel that the ends would justify the means.  I learned how to project my strengths and conceal my flaws, just like society had taught me.  Andre didn’t have this problem.  He wore his flaws on his sleeves just as vividly as he wore his virtues.  Andre didn’t know how to hide.  I wish I could have seen it at the time, but Andre was an ambassador of what it meant to be “A Man For Others.”  He did what his heart told him to do, and ignore how society would judge it.  His decisions were true, his actions were passionate, and his judgment was reflection of himself.

I now fast forward to the latter days of my cousin’s life.  Regrettably, I was unable to hang out with him as often as I would have liked.  However, I will always remember my final encounter with my cousin.  Andre, myself, and a friend were hanging out, having some drinks, having some laughs, and having a good time.  In the middle of our conversation, I commented on my cousin’s sweatshirt.  I told him it looked really good.  He then took it off and told me to put it on.  So I did.  He then told me that it really good on me and that I should keep it.  I told him I couldn’t, but he insisted.  So I kept it.  And that is the last memory I have of my cousin.  I couldn’t have known it at the time, but this simple act exemplified of what it meant to be A Man For Others.  I now look back and see how symbolic this simple act was.  A man 2000 years ago used to preach about these types of acts all the time.  To take off your shirt off your own back and hand it to another.  A Man For Others.  Andre once told me that he wished he could have been more like me, but what I never told him, what I’d like to tell him now, is that I wish I could be more like you.  A Man For Others.